Tag Archives: writers

Three excuses expats like to use not to go after their dreams

by Margarita

So you’ve moved abroad.  The constraints of the culture you grew up in with all its “be realistic”, “be careful”, “you’ll never make any money doing this”, “you cannot possibly do this” seem to be gone yet you still find yourself unable to move towards your dream.  So what is it that you are telling yourself that keeps you firmly planted where you were even though you moved?

Here are three common excuses expats use not to take the leap:

1.  It’s too late.  I am too old.  I am too slow.  I am never going to be able to do it.

How can you know this for sure if you never try?

The only things you can know is that you definitely cannot fly on your own, walk on water, or live on the Moon (for now anyway).  But everything else is up for grabs.

2.  There are so many others doing this thing I want and I am never going to catch up to them.  I am never going to be successful.

How can you know this for sure if you never try?

Yes, there is only one Steve Jobs, only one Mikhail Baryshnikov, and only one Joshua Bell in the world.  But here is a secret – you don’t need or want to be them.  You want to be yourself and approach your passion in your own individual way.  You want success on your terms, not their terms.  If everyone were the same, how fun would it be?  Success is in the eyes of the beholder.  The beholder is you.  And you can change your definition of success.

3.  I don’t have any formal education in this field and cannot really claim to be part of it.

This excuse is the one that will either stop you in your tracks completely or get you to study ad nauseum.  Whatever you learn will never seem enough and you’ll keep going from one degree to the next, from one certification to the next.  You’ll never even start on your dream because you’ll be too busy trying hard to become worthy of it.

If you want to learn – by all means, learn!  But learn for the sake of learning, and not for the sake of satisfying your doubt saboteur.

These excuses put you on the road to your default future — is that where you want to go?  Or do you want to create your future out of your passions and dreams?

Have any other excuses?  Share them below!

And if you are tired of these and want to move forward, join the Expat Women Academy that starts on May 1, 2012.  Join us for a FREE webinar to learn more about it here.

Waking up an artist in you — expat lifestyle opportunity… and a learning opportunity

One of the common advices an accompanying expat spouse receives in response to her/his concern about losing a career/job is this: “Enjoy your hobbies while you have this great chance.  Look at what you love to do and do it.”  It’s a great suggestion and many newly-unemployed expats have definitely found a peace of mind in taking up pottery, painting, writing, or stamp collection.  Finally all of those things they’ve been meaning to do their entire lives were at their fingertips and they had time and resources to do them!

Then a few months later a few of us “impact-oriented” people (me included!) started to wonder.  So here I am painting away (or writing or creating pottery or sewing) and isn’t this the time when I am supposed to be getting really good at this — my new craft, professionally-speaking?  I mean I’ve always been successful at my work, I’ve advanced and made more money in my career almost every year so isn’t this the time to start booking galleries or creating my fall fashion line?  And if not, then why am I doing this?  Why am I spending all this time and resources on doing something that’ll never create any impact in the outside world and will never make me money?

This is when the old familiar voice of doubt starts getting louder.  Maybe this new painting I am making is going to be really bad.  Should I change this color or should I add this color or should I… just quit the whole thing and do what I am good at — find work and immediately begin putting in 60-hrs weeks to catch up on what I’ve missed?  The hobby I’ve taken suddenly takes the form of some race I am supposed to win and every day I am more and more afraid to screw up the canvas.

Has anything like that happen to you?  It certainly has happened to me — and it continues to happen once in awhile.

What do I do?

I go back to a great metaphor my coach and I created.

I see myself as a child playing in a sandbox, building a castle.  The castle isn’t coming out the way I’ve wanted and so I level it to the ground.  “It’s just sand,” I hear my child say and begin to build the castle again. Playing is the main point here.

Allowing yourself to play is the biggest gift and the biggest learning — and that learning comes from our inner children that we’ve forgotten with all our career and impact aspirations.  So how about making play the central part of whatever we are doing and remembering that it’s just sand?

Your thoughts?

NEW at the Global Coach Center: an online course on Culture Mastery — offering how to be effective in any culture through the 4C’s ™ process of culture-emotion intelligence.

Copyright © 2011 by Global Coach Center.  If you’d like to reprint this, please do so but make sure you credit us (with a live link)!

Expats — choosing not to belong or choosing transformation?

When I look at the search words that bring people to my blog, the combination of “why people chose not to belong” comes through again and again.  It seems that making a choice not to belong to a community/group/religion/etc fascinates quite a few.  And so I get curious – are people really choosing not to belong or are they choosing to transform?

When we move abroad, we make a choice.  And while that choice can be influenced by quite a few factors (interesting career move, fascinating culture, financial reward, etc), at the root of that choice lies our innate desire to achieve transformation – to grow and evolve in all (or some) parts of our lives.  So choosing not to belong is really choosing to forego convention and embrace something different.  What I mean is that – choosing not to belong isn’t really about quitting something, it’s about gaining.

Evolution has always been driven by transformation – change, sought and brought about by people, moved our times forward.  And so as we get closer and closer to each other and as we live across cultures, each culture brings about a transformation in us.  By the same token, we bring about transformation in that culture.

So next time you are feeling down and missing the familiar, think of the transformative nature of your experiences and of how these experiences can help you grow, evolve and be at the forefront of the new evolutionary turn.

How has your expat experience been transformative for you?

People who read this post also enjoyed:

To expat or not to expat: 3 tips that can help you decide

To belong or not to belong: is that the choice we make when we move abroad?

Your identity in expatriation: will it stay or will it go?

Copyright © 2011 by Global Coach Center.  If you’d like to reprint this, please do so but make sure you credit us (with a live link)!

Of stories and cultures

In his book “Spontaneous Evolution” Dr Bruce Lipton suggests that, as meaning-making species, we — humans – live both by the stories we create and by the meaning we give to those stories.  Throughout history we have built lives on the foundation of our stories – and the more invested we become in our story, the more important it becomes for us to continue investing in that story… even if the story no longer works.

Some of our stories have been with us for hundreds of years, others have been around much less time.  Branches of different religions can be considered stories (think, for instance, of some religious zealots protecting the “purity” of their religion by rejecting gay rights in day and age when the humanity has embraced it as basic human right); on-going conflicts between nations can be considered stories (think of the conflict in the Middle East where animosity continues regardless of how useless it has become); and political regimes (think Egypt, Tunisia, the Soviet Union).  These collective stories often define and influence the way we live our lives – even if it no longer works for us.

Reading about this got me wondering about the connection between a story and a culture.  For instance, let’s take the collective story of the United States.  For many years the US has been known as “the land of opportunities and freedom where anyone can make something out of their life.”  Recently though it feels as if the story has been shifting towards something along these lines: “capitalism is great; socialism is awful; business interests first; money is the only thing that matters; guns need no control; social justice equals communism; corporations rule; survival of the fittest; it’s a dog-eat-dog world.”  Many people continue to invest in the story that capitalism the way they have been practicing it is the only way to go even though the system has marginalized a lot of people.  Many swear by their right to bear arms – when in today’s world of machine guns this is a much more dangerous preposition than when this amendment was created.  How do these stories contribute to the culture? And how does the culture contribute to – or maybe change – these stories?

What about the story of your country or the country you are living in?  What is it?

How has this story influenced the culture – and vice versa?

A to Z of Successful Expatriation™: J is for JOURNAL

Ever since my daughter learned to write coherent sentences, I’ve always encouraged her to record the various trips we were taking.  We’d sit down at the end of every day – usually during a dinner in a restaurant – and while the food was being prepared, she’d record things that were especially interesting for her.  And even though it’s now becoming more and more difficult to get her to write her “travel journal” (age, I suppose), she loves going back and reading what she’s written years ago.

Journaling about your expat experiences – whether in electronic form or in an old-fashioned way with a pen and a notebook – gives us an opportunity to record the things we see and experience shortly after we’ve seen and experienced them.  Nothing gets lost in our memory, nothing gets forgotten and in the end we have a great collection of stories that can provide hours of memories years later.  Some of these stories may even end up becoming a book some of us have always dreamed of writing in retirement.

Keeping a journal in electronic form – a blog as we call them now – also allows us to share with family and friends at home.  Add a few photographs and you’ve just provided an evening of entertainment for your loved ones.

Journals help us remember and they help us share.  Do you keep a journal?  How?

For all the letters in the A to Z of Successful Expatriation™ click here.

And remember to check out our on-line courses on Culture Shock, Expat Know-How and on Cross-Cultural Training at the Global Coach Center Academy!

Copyright © 2010 by Global Coach Center.
If you’d like to reprint this, please do so but make sure you credit us (with a live link)!

Should expatriates be writing?

Before I became an expat I never thought of writing as something I can do on a regular basis and as something I can enjoy. In  fact, writing was never my strong point… well, according to my 6th grade Soviet teacher anyway.

But then I moved to my first overseas posting. And even though English was officially my second language and I had to get comfortable writing in it, I started to experiment with the written word. First I wrote extensive letters about what I was experiencing; then I started writing short stories — my first one (the one about buying a car in Uzbekistan) actually made it onto the NPR’s Car Talk website; and later I began to base my fiction on what I saw around me. My writing really took off and I haven’t stopped since.

Recently I read in one of the LinkedIn group discussions that, according to a recent study, expatriation does wonders to one’s creativity. When you move overseas you become more creative — and that increased creativity may express itself in off-the-wall business ideas and/or in nurturing your inner artist either through writing, painting, or any other art form. In my journey both things happened: I took up writing and I created a business.

Reality is stranger than fiction. And who better know it than us — the expatriates — people who on a daily basis experience something new, something we can tell the world about?

What about you? Do you have some short stories in you? Have you been writing about what you see and about what you experience? Someone out there would love to read it, I bet!

People who read this post also read:

Cross-Cultural Intelligence: Tip 6

“What will I miss” list makes it easy to remember

How to leave without regrets

Copyright © 2009 by Global Coach Center.
If you’d like to reprint this, please do so but make sure you credit us!